A wedding during the Omer? A psak halacha out of the ordinary!

On Monday, March 26, 2012 Rebbetzin Penina Ohana of Ashdod was expected to walk her son Itamar down the aisle. But a tragedy occured. Only days before, she passed away, succumbing to a heart attack on the motzei Shabbat preceding the wedding.

According to Halacha, a person in mourning for his parents is not allowed to get married until 30 days have passed, making their marriage before Passover impossible. However, according to tradition, no weddings are held during the period of the Omer following the holiday either. Itamar was in a bind.

Seeking advice from Rav Ovadiah Yosef z”l, the halachic giant of the generation, the family wondered if they were required to postpone the celebration until after Lag BaOmer or if it would be possible to celebrate Itamar’s wedding during a period when they would ordinarily be forbidden.

While explaining that each case is different and that a competent rabbinical authority must always be consulted, Rav Yosef agreed to write a letter to the local Rabbinate authorizing the wedding to take place during the period of the Omer.

This story is instructive in a number of ways and there are several lessons we can draw from it.

First of all, there is a general principle that we do not postpone a marriage without a serious reason. A postponement may allow time for complications that may minimize the joy or even God forbid, lead to its cancellation.

Second of all, for a man who has yet to fulfill the Biblical injunction of P’ru U’revu (“be fruitful and multiply”), postponing his wedding essentially creates a situation in which he is procrastinating the observance of a divine imperative. In our pre-messianic period, this is particularly important, as the Talmud in Yevamot teaches that the Geula (redemption) will not occur before a certain number of Jewish souls are brought into this world. Each marriage is therefore a potential bearer of the Jewish people’s deliverance.

Finally, we learn that it is important to turn to our sages for advice in all matters and not to assume that something is forbidden or permitted without first checking with a rabbinical authority.

How many errors with grave consequences were made by people who decided on their own to postpone marriages without seeking Daat Torah (Torah opinion from a Rabbi)? May Hashem allow us to always be guided by leaders filled with the fear of Hashem and respect for His Torah.