Accepted notions related to old age versus youth are relative.

Any attempt to define these terms is null and void to begin with and varies according to societal trends and time frames. As individuals, we will always experience being older or younger than others.

But let's try to define youth versus old age. The most obvious assessment criteria rely on biological factors. As we age, inevitable physiological and anatomical transformations attenuate and hinder our performance capacities. Beyond biological factors related to old age, are social and psychological circumstances related to old people's roles in society, as well as their capacity to contribute and exchange. 

According to the Jewish tradition, being old is a privileged position. A young person is commanded to respect the elderly, to rise in their presence, to help them if need be, to give up a seat on their behalf, etc. But in this day and age, people's priorities lie in individual accomplishment and personal success, empowerment and fulfillment.  It is perfectly acceptable to beat any obstacle which can obstruct or slow down our success. To illustrate this, let's remember a famous advertisement for defining success:

"If you do not own a Rolex by age 50, you have ruined your life". Of course, it's a joke but nevertheless a sad reality. Indeed, success is estimated and measured according to the amount of an individual's accumulated assets; and sadly, not according to the amount of virtuous deeds performed on behalf of his fellowmen. The rat race to achieve material well-being justifies sacrificing any obstacle which can jeopardize or even slow down its achievement. Unfortunately, old people are the embodiment of these stumbling blocks. Particularly when their physical strength falters and they require the assistance of their offspring.

To benefit our elderly parents, it is obviously necessary to invest some one our time and sacrifice many of our leisure activities. Becoming available to our parents' needs is thus a burden. Our society worships youth and most people refuse to grow old. To this end, all means to avoid aging are valid. From plastic surgery to various methods of fulfilling the illusion of eternal youth. This trend benefits a myriad of quacks and charlatans, promising eternal youth at a prohibitive cost. In this context, old people are better avoided because they constitute an additional burden. It is more convenient to dump them in old age homes, where they will be cared by others, even if the cost is considerable. But there seems to be an additional reason other than convenience:  an aging person reflects the inevitable reality of our own mortality, which we prefer to ignore.

Bestowing a dignified place for elders in our society should be enriching. Some politicians have discovered that the inclusion of older people can immensely benefit business endeavors. As if suddenly they had come to the realization that the enormous bonuses and experience acquired by old people can benefit the younger generations.

Transgenerational experience does indeed enrich exchange between people at dissimilar stages of life.

The notion of retirement and its many positive aspects is a high reaching value in France. Unfortunately, it comes with many negative effects, isolating individuals who no longer have social impact[U1] . Older people who are still capable of investing themselves in a social, political or communal activity are a minority.  Isolation and lack of purpose weakens these retirees, slowly making them uprooted from society. Their only link to the world is via television and its intellectually mediocre programs, which do nothing but aggravate their cognitive capacities. Recent brain research has proven that despite brain cells' aging and their effect on sensory human capacity, the brain can adapt and transform itself in an ad hoc environment. The brain can still recreate neural connections and transmit valuable information. In addition, accumulated experience over the years can compensate initial deficiencies via cognitive strategies adapted to each case.

Clearly, brain capacity is enhanced by ongoing intellectual cognition, as well as emotional involvement and participation. The option to age well may secure an elder's position in his family and in society.

Torah study is a critical source of support to maintain an appropriate level of intellectual activity.

The experience of our sages proves this point. The most recent being Rabbi Eliashiv (zatsal), 96 years old, Rabbi Shach (Zatsal) 102 years old, who preserved their cognitive and discernment abilities to the fullest and till the end. We could include an extensive list of very old Rabbis who manifested outstanding intellectual capacities till their death, thanks to Torah study.

An elderly person in full possession of his capacity and ability to connect with others obviously merits much more respect than an old person with nothing to offer. However, the Torah obligation to respect parents makes no exception, regardless of the mental state of our parents.

To Conclude

Old age is a crucial step in life that needs to be cultivated from the earlier stages of youth.  A young person opting to avoid facing this reality will be surprised when reality inevitably catches up with him. To respect one's elders is a way to respect oneself. To accept elders in our society is equal to welcoming additional and much-needed wisdom.

To conclude, let me quote a story that my parents told me, regarding the relationship between elderly parents and their children. An aging grandfather was becoming increasingly dependent upon his son and his wife. One fine day, feeling overburdened by this situation, the son decides to register his father in an old age home. Thus, the son drives his father to an old age home of his choice.

As they arrive, the father has a moment of lucidity and asks one last favor from his son: "Dear son, would you kindly take me to a different place?' The son, not understanding the difference between both equally rundown places, asks his father to clarify his request. "When I was your age, I put my own father there".  Upon hearing these words, the son brings his father back home, where he remains until the end of his days.

Dr. Alain Haddad - Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst